Dad

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Dear all

As some of you may know, I was brought up by my Grandparents and since my Grandma died in 2005 I have lived with my Grandad since then. Although he was my Grandad I always called him Dad because, other than biologically….he was my Dad.

Since 2015 my Dad had begun to suffer with Pulmonary Fibrosis due to Asbestos exposure, and had begun to require oxygen treatment. Sadly, on August 25th he passed away peacefully at the Friarage Hospital, Northallerton.

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Although not really into ‘Railways’ as I am (even though he grew up in the 1950’s the golden age of train spotting)…he did a lot to encourage my interest in the hobby. When I was around the age of 6 he began building my first model railway which ran through the wardrobes in my bedroom. I’ve only one photo of the old layout….. a lot of happy memories.

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As I returned to the hobby 10 years ago, Dad began accompanying me to exhibitions, granted not quite with the same level of enthusiasm as I did, but he was always interested in scenic modelling. Around 2011 we discovered the wonderful ‘Right Track’ Series of model making DVD’s, he was very much interested in the kit building volumes, presented by Tony Wright. Dad knew how to solder, and if it hadn’t been for his illness I think he would have had a go a building a kit.

A highlight came around 5 years ago, when Dad met Tony Wright at the Pickering Show. They had a good natter (and a laugh over TVRs).

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Dad was always a doer, never sat around for long and in the years since my Grandma’s death, had become quite the confectioner. Many in our village (and some in the hobby) will remember him for his chocolate cakes, mince pies and flap jack. It was such a shame for someone who did so much for others, that in 2015 Pulmonary Fibrosis began to take his activity away from him.
I was really pleased that, last December my friend Alan Buttler of Modelu was able to come up and scan Dad (and Lass). These two figures will be forever cherished.

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For the past 2 years I have been his carer, and over the past few months that task had become harder. 3 weeks ago he was taken into hospital with a chest infection. The plan was for him to return home, with the help of Herriot Hospice and have a bed downstairs. Sadly though, it was felt he wouldn’t survive the journey home. That evening Dad asked for me, so I headed over to the Friarage Hospital (27 miles away) to see him. We spoke a little, I held his hand and left around 11.15pm as he fell asleep. He passed away at 9.30am the following morning.

I’ve been touched by the amount of comments and cards we have received. I think the hardest thing for me has been not just losing my Grandad, not just losing my Dad….but losing my Best Friend, but I’m coping ok, and I’ve good family support.

I’d lost interest in modelling at the beginning of the summer, but in recent day’s, my interest is returning….and it does feel special that Dad will forever live on Cwm Prysor, and future layouts.

You’ve left one big hole in my life Dad, but thank you for always being there throughout the first 31 years of my life.

Love you lots Daddy xxx
‘We loved you a lot, but God loved you more’

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6 thoughts on “Dad

  1. Tom.
    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
    He was a genuinely good guy. I’ll admit I have a wee bit of a wet eye seeing that wee model of him and Lass.
    I’m glad you are coping with things as I’m sure it’s tough. These situations can never be anything else.
    He’ll always live on in your memory though so your best friend will still always be there with you.
    Here’s wishing for better times ahead.

    Best wishes.

    Dave.

  2. Tom,
    I am so sorry to hear of your terrible loss. I had the pleasure to meet Dad at Doncaster and elsewhere.
    I know how hard it can be caring for someone when they are poorly from our own experience, but it is nice to look back afterwards and remember the good times and know that you made their life better.
    Once again Tom please accept my sincere condolances.
    Kindest Regards,Derek Betts.

  3. I think your upbringing will resonate with a good many people. I’m at your dad’s end of the age group and have been in the position of ensuring a measure of stability in my grandsons and daughters lives (following family break-ups). Loving and dependency works both ways and you will undoubtedly have brought a great deal of happiness to your dads life, especially towards the end.

    My sincere condolences,
    Kindest Regards,
    Larry Goddard

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